One is a Genius, the Other's Insane
by Helkh
Summary: The final war on Gensoukai is over, and the denizens of the realm attempt to restore their normal lives. But how can Souryuu accomplish this when both Kurikara and Tsuzuki are trying to set him up with Byakko? This chapter: Dealing with denial.
1. By The Dawning of the Sun

**One is a Genius, the Other's Insane**  
By the Dawning of the Sun, They'll Take Over the World  
_Chapter One_

  
  
It wasn't as though he asked for it. He felt he was already overburdened. Unjustly, of course. Not that there was a shiki in all of Gensoukai that would dare contradict him, but he was sure that blind, plump rodent terror of him was perfectly natural.

He wasn't a tyrant. Anyone who had a problem with the way he was doing things was perfectly free to appeal to the courts. Mind you, they usually withdrew their complaints after he went to 'talk' to them. All it took was a few well-spoken death threats and perfectly timed gestures toward his sword and everything straightened out immediately. There was the odd time when that shiki would have to be tended to by Rikugou for insanity, but that had absolutely nothing to do with _him_.

He was a nice person. Never mind that the common view on his version of 'nice' ran along the lines of 'evil' and 'tyrannical'. Someone had to keep idiots like Byakko in line. Unfortunately, Byakko didn't listen to anyone and was powerful enough reduce any opposition to a greasy red smear on the cobblestones. Unfortunately, because of this, the Tiger was always in his way and making messes of things.

_Ah_, he thought, _that's why this has happened_.

It was Tsuzuki's fault. And that wretched furball had everything to do with it.

Slashing a vicious 'Ridiculous concept. Don't propose this again.' on a blueprint putting forth a detailed method of keeping Gensoukai from shrinking further, he proceeded to slap his brush down and glare balefully over the Imperial 'office'. One of the clerks, who had been gossiping to another about the very man simmering in his throne-like chair, fainted dead away upon seeing her Lord staring evilly. Her companion fanned at her frantically, then was forced to drag her off before she got trampled by the men scurrying by with armloads of paper.

_Fine_, he snarled silently, _I'm surrounded by idiots. I can understand that. But why haven't they dropped dead upon reaching the rock bottom of intelligence? Something must keep their hearts beating. Perhaps the Diviner has little gremlins working in those empty caverns._

Smirking a bit at the idea of cutting the heads of his charges wide to prove this theory, he went back to sifting through the towering pile of work.

Unobserved, a few more clerks toppled sideways. They were swiftly carried away.

Honestly, it wasn't like he had told his son to be possessed. He didn't plot out ways to make Touda go mad from the evil claws the Emperor had hooked in his brain. He didn't even concentrate when he set out to destroy the evil Gold.

And he certainly had nothing to do with Kurikara's ascension to the throne. In fact, that bit had quite a bit to do with his current discomfort.

After Kijin had been beaten into rationality, he took his vengence upon the Emperor.

And now, there sat Kurikara, albeit rather smugly, upon the throne of Gensoukai. Surprisingly, the people accepted him readily, upon an earnest explanation of his reasons for the last war.

Perhaps even more surprisingly, _he_ had forgiven the man for his past and their friendship, although a little tense, had been restored.

Souryuu sighed angrily and stood up abruptly, knocking over the ink well. He glared at it distastefully and strode for the doors. One clerk dared to tumble up in front of him to voice a weak objection.

'M'lord, it's far too early -' The little man dove to the side to avoid getting trod upon.

The doors slid to behind the Dragon with a violent clap. The office rang with silent defeat.

  
Souryuu stalked back to his palatial home with a suffocating feeling of hatred for the universe. It really just wasn't fair. He walked loudly - he didn't stomp, for he was a Dragon and therefore better than that - up the front stairs and banged into the entranceway. From there, he could hear a familiar voice raised in merriment as he fought with his footware.

With narrow eyes, he hiked up his robes and stepped into the hallway proper in his bare feet.

'Don't you have somewhere to be?' he snapped at Kurikara.

The Red Emperor grinned rakishly at him from the section of tatami he had sprawled for himself in the ajoining room. 'Probably. But who's to tell me to be there?'

'You have a -'

'World of higher beings to run. Yeah. I know.' With that, the fire Dragon went back to his conversation with Tsuzuki. Hisoka gazed at his Shikigami, nonplussed.

Souryuu snorted in disgust and went to change into something a little more suitable before he did something graceless, like fall flat on his face. The halls were cold with crisp air, a welcoming temperature after the sweltering heat of outside. He turned the last bend, but paused with his hand over the door.

He sighed in annoyance, feeling a snaking ki stalking his passage from inside his own room. He opened the door, stepped in and jerked his extended index finger at the hallway.

'Out,' he commanded.

Byakko looked put out. He had been quite obviously rolling about merrily in the previously immaculate bed and was now quite tousled and flushed. After a period of uncomfortable silence, he relented and shuffled out the door.

Souryuu slammed the door shut on the striped tail with a feeling of immense satisfaction.

  
Now attired in something a little less blinding than brilliant scarlet, he sat facing Tsuzuki. The Shinigami looked far too happy to be completely sane.

It was usually a sign that he would force Souryuu to do something undignified. He watched him cautiously from the corner of his eye as he accepted the tea brought for the gathering. _Unauthorized guests_, he fumed. _I should force a law upon this building that requires intruders to have a paid permit_.

Kurikara abruptly pulled the tray from his hands and began fixing the Western-style tea quietly. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end.

He didn't deserve this agitation. Ever since he had accepted (read: forced by Tsuzuki) Touda and Byakko into his home, things like this happened all the time. It made it impossible to focus on work, and made it impossible to live.

Quite frankly, he was amazed his home was still standing.

And now Kurikara was in on whatever was brewing.

Souryuu was very close to racing from the room in an insane froth. Instead, he folded his hands in his lap and pretended to be unconcerned about whatever it was the Red Dragon was doing to the tea. This gave him time to take in the condition the others were in.

Byakko sat nursing his wounded tail, staring at Souryuu balefully. The Dragon half hoped he had broken the appendage.

Beside him was Touda, sitting stiffly with eyes downcast. The Serpent's lips were pursed with annoyance. Souryuu speculated that this was because of Kurikara's presence. The Emperor was never shy about his affections. Apparently Touda didn't find his advances terribly amusing, although Kijin was fairly certain he was privately delighted with the attention. The idea sent a faint shiver of revulsion down his spine. And really, what was his son trying to do with all this romantic gossip? Magically turn himself into something worse than Byakko? That would be the day he would be disinherited instantly.

Hisoka took a cup from Kurikara, pretended to sip it, and set it down gracefully. The child learned quickly, it seemed. It had taken Souryuu several unfortunate 'accidents' to learn not to take anything edible from the man. Tsuzuki was perched alongside his partner, still smiling fixedly.

Souryuu began to wonder if Kurikara had given him anything earlier.

There was silence as the last of the cups clinked to the table. It stretched as Tsuzuki grinned around at them all, then deflated a little when he recieved nothing but stony stares.

Kurikara didn't count, since his smirk indicated he wasn't quite all there.

Not that he ever was, Souryuu reflected darkly.

'Would someone please heal him?' Touda muttered suddenly. 'He keeps moaning at his tail.' Byakko met his annoyed stare with an affronted expression.

Hisoka sighed and snatched the wounded tail from the God's tender grasp. Almost immediately, it straightened out and looked slightly less broken. The boy dropped it as though scalded and went back to brooding.

'So,' said Tsuzuki brightly. 'How is it working out?'

'Dreadfully,' Byakko told him. 'That wretched old man is such a complete miser!'

Souryuu started to object, but Kurikara's well-timed guffaw drowned him out. He snarled at the man, who winked cheekily.

'You're just saying that because he slammed a door on your tail,' Hisoka murmured philisophically around a biscuit, one of the few things his shiki hadn't actually contaminated.

'For entirely no reason at all!'

'You were rolling in my sheets,' Souryuu pointed out flatly. He didn't like the way Kurikara's grin was widening. He didn't even begin to hope he'd like what would come out of that mouth next.

'Marking his property, I see,' said the Dragon, innocently smiling at the two. There was a brief pause while both ran through all the possible ways they could strangle him to death and get away with it.

Tsuzuki wisely chose to change the subject. 'How is the attitude towards Touda?'

'They still want to incarcerate me,' the Serpent said tonelessly. His expression didn't change when Tsuzuki latched onto him, crying about how he'd be accepted one day.

Souryuu examined his nails briefly. 'No, the general population still wants him to burn in the fires of a thousand hells. They don't trust him without some sort of restraint on his.. temper.'

'You're so mean, Souryuu!' Tsuzuki spat at him. The insult was less impressive than it would have been if the Shinigami wasn't sitting in Touda's lap with dog-like extremities. The Dragon rolled his eyes.

Byakko was still staring at him, and Kurikara was still grinning. He glared at them both.

Hisoka seemed fed up with the banter and stood up. 'We're here to ask a place to stay while we spend time in Gensoukai. My partner is a complete idiot, so excuse his stupidity.' He picked Tsuzuki off Touda and set him down.

Souryuu's angry twitch grew a little as his draconic friend flashed him _that_ look. The look that indicated he expected precisely the same thing. He'd have to concede to it, since both parties held immense power over him.

He frowned at them, but didn't protest. Tsuzuki clapped his hands joyfully. He snatched up a teacup.

'Here's to the unfolding drama!' he exclaimed and downed the liquid, ignoring the jerky cries from those who knew better than to do just that.

It's understandable that Souryuu didn't take note of that strange statement.

After all, Tsuzuki had just been turned into a fat baby phoenix and was setting fire to the drapes.


	2. Fighting Protozoa

**One Is A Genius, The Other's Insane**  
Fighting Protozoa  
_Chapter Two_

  
Souryuu leapt for the drapes with a strangled cry. Dimly, he was aware of Kurikara's startled grunt and knew, somewhere in his subconscious, that the drapes were now burning with Dragonfire, too. He very narrowly avoided slamming into the wall as he threw a spray of water at the offending flames. This only made him step on Tsuzuki who started burning his pants with a piteous squawk.

The Dragon snarled, tore down the curtains and seized Tsuzuki around the tail. Protecting himself against the fire with a small globe of water, he slid open a door and dumped the baby phoenix in a birdbath. There was a moment of calm, where he turned and looked back at his smoking house, nestled in between two delicate gardens.

Souryuu attempted to breathe evenly, fists clenched. This didn't get him very far, so he stalked back inside, choking on the smoke filtering through the open shoji.

Inside, it was very quiet. Kurikara was squatting over a small spark, fanning it merrily. Souryuu moved further inside to loom over him menacingly. The smaller Dragon smirked up at him, unrepentant.

'One of my best, I'd say,' chirped Kurikara. 'Did you _see_ him?'

'I want you to die,' stated Souryuu coldly.

The rest of the guests were staring at them, smudged with soot and in various cowardly crouches about the room. Except Touda, of course, who was sitting precisely where he'd been all along. All eyes moved to the door, collectively. Byakko left quickly, edging around Souryuu, to save Tsuzuki from his horrible fate.

Souryuu stared intensely at Kurikara, who sighed and gave up on his fledgling spark. They glared at each other in silence until there was a crash from outside, coupled with a shriek filled with pain. After that, they glared some more.

Tsuzuki limped in, leaning on Byakko. He was drenched and had pieces of stone stuck into his body at weird angles. He looked distinctly unhappy.

This didn't precisely stop the staring match between the two Dragons.

'It's been a long day,' said Touda pointedly, flashing the pair a Look. They turned their glares on him.

'Don't be mean,' Tsuzuki squawked at them frantically. 'Don't try and kill him!'

'What,' said Souryuu, 'makes you think I would?'

He didn't get a reply for some time. Finally, he noticed the room's inhabitants looking at him strangely. He scowled at them.

'I want you to fix this mess before you do anything else,' he barked at Kurikara. 'Tsuzuki, stop dripping and do something useful with yourself. The rest of you - find Baaya and get your rooms sorted out.'

'And you?' asked Byakko, frowning.

Souryuu glared at him, then swished out the door to the garden without a word.

  
The gardens were always a pleasant place to enjoy the finer beauties of the world. They almost never stank of smoke, and didn't have annoying people. Mostly.

At least, they were usually quiet if they _were_ there. Kijin wasn't an idiot, and he was quiet, too. Those two features were quite redeeming in Souryuu's eyes.

So he didn't immediately attack his son when Kijin interrupted his gloomy sulk. The boy sat down next to him on the garden bench shyly.

'Father? Could I talk to you?' He looked extremely embarrassed.

Souryuu sighed. 'What did you do to your sister this time?'

'Nothing! I mean.. that is.. Nothing! That's not what I wanted to talk about.'

'I'll bet,' muttered Souryuu, looking out over the small pond glittering with the last light of dusk. They sat for some time while Kijin fidgeted with the hem of his robe. The boy took a deep breath.

'Hisoka.'

Souryuu looked at him blankly.

'I.. Like him.' Kijin waited apprehensively for the sword cut that would end his existence. He waited for quite a while, and when it didn't come, he peeked up at his parent nervously.

Who hadn't reacted much. 'Personally, I find him disdainful. But there's no need to let that colour your judgement.'

'That's not what I meant! I.. Like him like you like Byakko.'

'So you're saying you hate him?'

'NO!' Kijin looked like he was visibly restraining himself from an act of violence. 'I'm in love with him!'

'What do you mean by - WHAT?' Souryuu barked. 'I do not find that sack of fuzz attractive!'

He shot to his feet and loomed over Kijin angrily. The boy, after having confessed without being mauled, had returned to his passive personality. He looked up calmly. 'Father, that's not what the point of this conversation is. But if you insist it is, then I'll just have to say that _everyone knows_. And, because _you're_ the one who obviously needs counselling on the matter, I won't ask _you_ for help.'

Kijin then primly rose to his feet, ducked past his father and flounced back to the house. Souryuu stared after him, aghast.

He was dead certain Tenkou had been giving her brother lessons on _Parente Tormente_. Or maybe Kijin was just going through _that_ phase. With a repressed shudder, he vividly recalled how Kurikara had acted at four hundred.

Kijin's strange behaviour coupled with the torment the other gods were currently putting him through was cause enough to panic. But hadn't his son said he was in love with Byakko?

_In love with Hisoka. Hisoka, damnit._ Souryuu ran a hand through his hair. _Stupid Tiger, anyway. Why did I even let him stay here?_

He sat and pondered this until the sun drew away from the sky completely and the sounds of Suzaku's arrival jerked him back to reality. With a pained expression, he stalked back to his home, sniffing for burning wood.


End file.
